Walk For Life

This is our miracle girl Tori (with her little brother peeking behind her). Look at her cute little face and just think... we were advised to consider aborting her on 3 different occasions. How heartbreaking to think that so many people are being given advice that is 100% wrong and therefore making decisions that rob them of a precious life that God had planned for them. We are so thankful that we put our trust in God during our trials and didn't listen to the counselor's destructive advice. We have our precious little girl because we stood up to them.

This is the first year I've done Walk For Life which is a fundraiser for the Pregnancy Resource Center of Santa Cruz but it certainly won't be the last. We've been supporting the PRC for several years now because we feel their mission is a very important. http://www.santacruzprc.org/

Here's the story of why we got involved- When I was 18 weeks pregnant I took a blood test (AFP) that indicated a possibility of us having a Down Syndrome baby. We were encouraged to have a level 2 ultrasound appointment through Stanford's Genetic Counseling Clinic. (All covered by the state of California.) When I was making the ultrasound appointment I was very clear that we would not consider terminating the pregnancy but that we would like to do the ultrasound to find out more about our baby's development. During the ultrasound they discovered that there was an additional problem. Our baby's left kidney was deformed (they probably said fetus come to think of it though.)

After the ultrasound we meet with a doctor (not a kidney specialist) and the same counselor that I was very clear with regarding our view of abortion. They told us that because there were now 2 potential problems that we should again consider the option of abortion. Note- neither of these problems were known to be life threatening but they did not mention that. We were again very clear that abortion was not an option for us. We continued to have appointments at Stanford (paid for by the state of California) throughout the entire pregnancy to follow her kidney development. During another appointment we were again encouraged to reconsider abortion.

Finally we meet with the pediatric urology surgeon who clarified what was happening with her kidney and relieved our worries. He explained that what she had was not life threatening and could be fixed after birth with a couple of surgeries. And as I hope you'll all agree- a Down Syndrome child is NO reason to ever consider ending a life. In fact our dear friends had this same test (AFP) and were given a negative result for Down's when in fact their precious little girl does have Down Syndrome. So the test was wrong in detecting Down's when it actually existed and wrong in predicting it when it did not.

After 2 surgeries Tori has kidneys with almost full functioning capacity and should not have any additional problems. Praise the Lord!

On another note- as she was developing and even recently I did struggle with the following verse:

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14

I have to be honest, I was asking the following question, "God, did you knit her together wrong?" I remember bringing this up at one of my bible study groups and crying. I of course know God does all things well but what happened with her? This question didn't cause me to doubt God but it made me wonder how God would work all things for his glory in this situation. I just recently was made aware while I was getting ready for Walk For Life of part of God's plan. God told me, "I didn't make her wrong! I made her this way for several reasons. One being that your experience you got involved with the PRC. Another reason was it got your hearts ready for adoption. You now understand a real need exists for children and parents in desperate situations to have access to a loving home." I'm sure there will be additional reasons as well. See, God does work all things out for good.

Romans 8: 28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Through being involved with the PRC I've been asked to be a mentor mom for one of the teens. When I got together with her the first time I was overwhelmed by her situation. She is such a strong girl to not have given into the pressure to abort. All the women (on her side of the family and her boyfriends) have had multiple abortions. But she refused- even when they were trying to convince her it would be best. Through the support of PRC she made the decision to not only have her little girl but she also decided to follow Christ. I am so proud of her! It's not easy for her and I feel it's so important to continue supporting and encouraging her. The PRC counselors have been doing a wonderful job of that.

If you'd still like to support Walk For Life you can go to this link and sponsor me or click on link up top to make a donation directly to the PRC.http://www.walkforlifesantacruz.com/life/sponsor.php

Adoption Update

Our family as it is right now... However, I created this photo sheet to add to our adoption file. As it is... we have 95% of our paperwork completed (they just added a few more forms) and we are waiting for our Home Study which will probably happen in July. After that, it's a wait and see. I'm so curious about the timing. What is God planning? I know it's always perfect. Where is the little one that will be joining our family? Please continue to pray for us and our unknown child.


Oh, shameless plug... I created this using Storybook Creator software from Creative Memories. You can make one too. :) Just go to my website for more info www.mycmsite.com/bethanycoffer or contact me directly.

Adoption- Here's what we're doing

So, over the past few months I've mentioned our plans to adopt in our Christmas letter, our blog, and on Facebook... and it's making people curious. I would love to answer every ones e-mails individually but I thought I'd blog about it so that if (I mean- when) I get side-tracked and forget, you'll know I'm not intentionally ignoring you.Here's the deal- Jeff and I were having a discussion about how many kids we want and we couldn't come to an agreement. I said at least 3 and he said, "we don't have the infrastructure to support more." I'm not kidding- he's such an engineer. Me, being a great debater, pointed out the fact that- "infrastructures are built". Ha, got him on that one! So the conversation continued.One day in church we were watching a video and there was an African child living in extreme poverty. It was heartbreaking! (We witnessed this kind of poverty when we lived in the Dominican Republic for several months and it's something that we will NEVER forget... and don't want to. It changed the way we view everything.) OK, back to the day we watched the video- when we came home from church Jeff said to me, "I don't want to bring another child into this world when there are little ones Tori's age living on the streets in cardboard boxes." As we watched her playing in the front yard, He continued, "Where she will sleep and what she will eat today is the furthest thing from her mind." Ahh... I love this man.Well, we had always talked about wanting to adopt but I had thought it would be further down the road when our kids were older. So, I spent an afternoon talking with God asking Him if we should adopt. During that time I felt that I needed to give up my desires to physically have another child, fears of my ability to love this child as much as Tori & Siah, and fears of a difficult adoption process. My prayer time was amazing! There are times in my life where God speaks to me so clearly that it's almost audible... this was one of them. He told me, "it's not, IF you adopt? It's- WHEN!" Oh, that got me excited and truly my fears were calmed. (Another child without being prego and without having a 3rd C-section= total bonus!) I'm sure I'll have to surrender more fears as the process continues, but I'll cling to my absolute assurance that God has a plan for our lives and it involved someone that we haven't met yet but already love. Here are the details- we are going through a local Christian agency in Scotts Valley called Hand In Hand. They work with a lot of the state agencies. So far, we've almost completed our paperwork... it's long and it doesn't help that mine got erased (thankfully I had a hard copy and now only need to re-type it.) We also need to do all sorts of things like background checks, physicals, CPR, and trainings. We're hoping to complete everything in March and then do the home study. After that... we're not sure about the timing. We're not planning to specify a boy or girl but we do want a child younger than Josiah by at least 9 months.We also need to add on to our house (ah, infrastructure) and we'll probably be buying a minivan (more infrastructure).Check back here occasionally and I'll update everyone on what's going on. Oh, and please be praying for our family and the family that will be involved in bringing our little one into our lives. Feel free to contact us any time... I really do try to get back to e-mails it just takes me some time.

Adoption question

Jeff is working on his part of the adoption application. I loved his answers to the following question-

o Please discuss briefly each of your children and how each is special to you.

Tori is my little princess. She is definitely a sensitive personality that likes to do girl stuff. At the same time she likes to get dirty and throw dirt clods. What a great combo! She is sharp as a tack, always keeping me on my toes.

Josiah is already a man’s man. He can bust down the door to the room while riding the dog bare back and then charm everyone with his smile and personality. It will be my challenge to train him to use his skills for good.